I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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