My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
