Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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