So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
