how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
