I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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