Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
