She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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