I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
