Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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