Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
