it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
