is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
