Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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