no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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