every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just forgot I was standing up.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
