I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
