so explain again why im purple
no
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
