What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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