some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
