i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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