I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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