They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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