I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
