You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
