was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
did you just send me my own nude
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
