"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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