I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
