Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
