dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
