She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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