Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
