I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
