i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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