It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize