I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
