He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
