I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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