Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Jerry, you need to find god
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
