Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I enjoy the company of your penis
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
