It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
