I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
