i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
