I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
