it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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