just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
