using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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