I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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