I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
