i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
