I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize