That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
