Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
