It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
