I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
