before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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