I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
