I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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