Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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