quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The best revenge is premature balding
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
