your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
