what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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