I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
