Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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