Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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